In this episode, we talk to Mari Stracke about the power of connection, comparing pain online and why sharing your unique story is so important.
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Originally from Germany, Mari Stracke is a London-based writer, occasional stand-up comedian and mental health advocate who blogs about mental health to her engaged 50k following on Instagram. After a close family member tried to commit suicide in 2013, she began to speak publicly about the importance of de-stigmatising mental illness. Today, she openly shares her own struggles with anxiety and PTSD, which she was diagnosed with after witnessing a graphic knife crime in London. With a background in filmmaking, Mari particularly loves working on stories that raise awareness. She believes that making the extremely personal experience of living with a mental illness widely accessible through storytelling can be a lifeline - not only to those who suffer in silence but also for loved ones who find it difficult to relate. She is currently working on her first book and in her free time she enjoys watching the colourful houseboats on the canal in her home borough of Hackney.
Social Media Handle:
Instagram: @maristracke
Memorable Moments:
2:38 You cannot sweep mental health issues under the carpet. It just comes back and it comes back bigger and worse.
4:48 So often I think people who struggle mentally with things assume that “well that's just life.”
9:58 I initially just thought if I just talk about it the way I truly feel it without trying to think about the likes that you will get, or if it resonates with people, then I can, I can just, it's out out of my heart in a way, the negative stuff.
10:54 But we are getting there, where we understand that we all have vulnerable sides. That's what makes us human. And you have such a bigger shot at building a stronger connection with people, if you actually show your vulnerability. And if you go beyond the surface.
12:49 And so I had meaningful conversations. And sometimes it's just like an exchange of two sentences. And that's all I or the other person need in that moment. It snaps you out of that, that loneliness that I think fuels so many of the mental illnesses that we have.
14:48 I feel like what else are we really here for if not making real connections? It's the most beautiful thing. And I think when you're younger, that might not be on the forefront of your thoughts. And the older you get, or at least for me, it's like, oh, well, of course, that's what I'm here to do, the enjoyment of the dialogue with other people and to share a little bit of their experience and the way they see their world. Yeah, it's very powerful.
17:10 I often have to remind myself that I now live in a very nice bubble, of people who are advocating and who I have conversations with and where it's very open and where everybody is proud to be vulnerable. But that is a bubble, in the grander scheme of society that is not there yet at all.
18:15 Don't let anybody invalidate your pain.
21:22 If you feel it, it's there. Pain is pain is pain is pain. There is no “oh, no, this pain is different than that.” And if you feel it, you have it. You have that pain inside you, and you're suffering from it. And so therefore, you deserve to be heard, and listened to and taken seriously. And to receive, ultimately, help.
27:04 So that's the first thing I say to people. I'm absolutely open to listen, and I'm interested if you want to share it. But it's not for me to measure whether your pain is valid enough to now say, maybe try some therapy, maybe try some tools about breathing exercises, those kinds of things. Because you know that no one else is an expert on how you feel, but you. No one else, there's no other authority than you.
29:22 I think that's a big one for me at the moment to try and live fully. And by that I mean, go for the connection. Say yes to things.
29:53 Life is about the dialogue with other people, understanding how other people see the world and understanding that my viewpoint is just one of very many. And we all have this experience on this planet. So living life to the fullest, for me, personally, is something [that] has become a mantra recently.
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This podcast is hosted by Allison Walsh and Angela Phillips. This podcast is produced by Allison Walsh, Savannah Eckstrom and Nicole LaNeve. For more information or if you’re interested in being a guest on this podcast, please visit www.therecoveryvillage.com/dearmindyoumatter.
Allison: 00:02
Hello and welcome to the dear mind, do you matter podcast? My name is Allison Walsh. I'm a longtime mental health advocate and vice president at Advanced Recovery Systems. On each episode I will be joined by my colleague and clinical expert, Dr. Angela Phillips. This show along with our mental health and wellness app, Nobu are just some of the ways we're working to provide you with actionable tips and tools to take really good care of yourself each and every day. So sit back, relax and grab your favorite note taking device. It's time to fill your mind with things that matter. Originally from Germany, Mari Strack is a London based writer, occasional stand up comedian and mental health advocate who blogs about mental health to her engaged Instagram following after a close family member tried to commit suicide in 2013, she began to speak publicly about the importance of D stigmatizing mental illness. Today, she openly shares her own struggle with anxiety and PTSD, which she was diagnosed with after witnessing a graphic attack in London. With a background in filmmaking. Marie particularly loves working on stories that raise awareness. She believes that making the extremely personal experience of living with a mental illness widely accessible through storytelling can be a lifeline, not only to those who suffer in silence, but also for those loved ones who find it difficult to relate. She is currently working on her first book, and in her free time, she enjoys watching the colorful houseboats on the canal in her home. Well, we are so excited that you are on the show today, would you mind introducing yourself to our audience?
Mari Stracke 01:33
My name is Mary Stracke. I'm a German writer living in London, and I blog a lot about mental health. In a nutshell, I also do some stand up comedy every now and then. And yeah, I try and spread awareness about PTSD and anxiety. And I'm trying to do my bit to destigmatize mental illness.
Allison: 01:58
Well, thank you for doing that because we cannot have enough conversations. Every time we talk about it, we normalize it for other people, and hopefully, give them the courage to reach out and ask for support. But would you mind sharing a little bit more about why you're passionate about this topic?
Mari Stracke 02:12
Of course. So in my family, and I'm always very careful how I tell the story, because it is about someone else. And I understand that the details aren't mine to share. But so a family member of mine, tried to commit suicide in quite a graphic way. And that was when my family had to come to terms with the fact that you cannot sweep mental health issues under the carpet, it just comes back and it comes back bigger and worse, which is what happened in my family. And so I spent many, many days in the waiting room off the intensive care unit, with my entire extended family present, talking about how did we get here. And, of course, you know, everybody's being in those moments being very hard on themselves, I think, which is a good thing and a bad thing. Because I think it's very hard to retrospectively point the finger at that one moment and say, Oh, this is where we failed as a family. And I also don't think that you can, per se say that you can prevent something like an attempted suicide necessarily as a family that doesn't have professional tools. But there were definitely times where we didn't look properly. And where we thought, Oh, this is just a phase, this will go away. And when we didn't seek the conversation, as a family and individually as well. And that, for me, was such a defining moment in my life. This is in 2013. So quite a while ago, and we're very blessed that our family member fully almost fully recovered, which was close to an absolute miracle. And so we were also able to then have conversations with her about her experience and what happened. So I had that very privileged, Oh, it wasn't a very privileged position of actually being able to ask questions as well. And I had experienced depression and anxiety but I think I'd never seen it as something that was maybe unusual or like, because you don't know other people's experience of life. Right? So often I think people who struggle mentally with things assume that “well that's just life.” You know, the way anxiety can sabotage us. That's it. Everybody has a bit of anxiety and a bit of doubt. But to actually realize that, Oh, hold on this is at a level where I could benefit maybe from someone else looking at this and maybe giving me their opinion and some tools that also happened through through that experience. And that was when I started blogging online about it. And then in 2017, I was the one of the victims of a knife crime in London. And I was physically harmed. My My friend was severely harmed. But of course, then I added post traumatic stress disorder to my little plate. And it was, again, I don't want to talk so much about my friends journey here, because that's, again, not mine to share. But for me, it was interesting, because I had, obviously read so much about mental health stuff and been in contact with psychologists, therapists and so on through the blogging, I do. And then I thought, oh, now I'm going into this territory of this post traumatic stress thing, which I can see logically, is on the horizon for me, but I can also look at it from the outsider's perspective. So what can I do to prevent that from happening, and of course, I went about it the absolute wrong way, I know that now I thought I was very, very smart about it. I had read every book about it. So yay, you know, and so I went straight back the next day to where it all happened. I thought, you know, the park, that's my park, and I'm going to force myself, I'm just going to power walk through the anxiety and through the fear. And I really did not do myself any favors, because I didn't even allow myself to admit that it was a really, really big deal. What happened, I just thought, you know, if I just keep doing what I've always done, then then this, this post traumatic stress thing won't find a way to creep in. But, yeah, that's not really how it works, I thought I would outsmarted and I didn't. And so since then, it sort of has come and gone in waves. And the pandemic also hasn't helped. I have dealt with with that as well and learned how to live with a very irrational fear, particularly in the streets of London, where I happen to live. And where I still want to live. So yeah, so I've added that, to what I talk about online to the conversation.
Allison: 07:44
Well, thank you for sharing more. And, you know, there have been so many lived experiences, and then also ones that you've experienced walking alongside others. And I think that's a really important thing for our audience to think about, too, is that, you know, the journey that we watch other people experience does impact us, as well. And I'm so glad that your family and you really did pause to take a moment that unfortunately, was very significant. But to really evaluate, like, how did you get here? What else can you do? How can you support not only this particular individual, but others that you cross paths with, right, and, and nobody's immune from this. And I think that's one of the big takeaways that I hope everybody listening is really acknowledging is that mental health impacts all of us, right? Just like physical health, we all have mental health. And it's really important to be there for one another, it's really important to be there for ourselves and to invite those people in, like you said, you know, and, and at different stages and phases of life, you know, when your experience, you know, several years ago, in that was terrifying. And, you know, I'm glad that you were able to get support for that and realize that, you know, there are people out there that can help. But, you know, all of us have had that shared experience of the pandemic now. And you don't have to step it down. You don't have to lie for more. Yeah, you don't have to hide from your feelings. And you know, it's important. There's so many talented and amazing people out there that can help. So that's what they were called to do, just like all of us have our own calling and what we're doing, that's theirs, so let them do it. But, but I want to talk about the community that you really created online and what you've been able to share and, you know, how is that really helped you and where do you see that helping others?
Mari Stracke 09:38
Oh, it has helped me humongously and I don't think I saw that coming really that because initially I just thought, you know, I'm a writer, and maybe Instagram was an odd choice because I write these epic long captions with like a selfie of this is me today. And that has sort of become my thing, but I initially just thought if I I just talk about it the way I truly feel it without trying to think about the likes that you will get, or if it resonates with people, then I can, I can just, it's out out of my my heart in a way, like the negative stuff. And I've always been an oversharer my entire life, I've always carried my heart on my sleeve, I find it very hard to hide my feelings. And the way the world is progressing, that's a good thing. But you know, when when I grew up, like 20 years ago, or whatever, 25, even 30, that oversharing thing was really not a good thing, people would find it embarrassing, and, you know, vulnerability was just not seen as a strength. And I think we very, very slowly, still got a long way. But we are getting there, where we understand that we all have vulnerable sides. That's what makes us human. And you have such a bigger shot at building a stronger connection with people, if you actually show your vulnerability. And if you go beyond the surface. And I think social media typically has not been advertised to us as the tool to do that. But it is getting there. And I'm fascinated by it. And so happy that people are discovering it more and more as a tool to deeply connect with others. It is it is it's funny, isn't it? Because often social media is very demonized. And it is for good reason. And 100% with everybody who says, you know, the comparison, all this kind of holding ourselves to this fake perfection standard is it's insane. And it does a lot of bad in the world. And I'm so with that. But on the flip side, if you use it to, it depends how you use it, of course. And if you put your authentic self out there, then you might receive the authentic self of others. And that's where you become part of a community that is very real about life, and very real about the struggles. And so I felt each time I was posting, especially when I was still a little bit worse that a few years ago, I always found that one step was externalizing how I felt through pressing post, so it was out there, it wasn't in here anymore. And then I received the comments and direct messages. And I was like, Wow, I'm not the only one who feels this. This resonates with people because they go through this too. And so I had meaningful conversations. And sometimes it's just like an exchange of like two sentences. And that's all I or the other person need in that moment. It snaps you out of that, that loneliness that I think fuels some so many of the mental illnesses that we have. Yeah, I'm still as you can maybe tell them so amazed by every time I speak about it, I'm amazed by the power of social media and how how you can use it to your advantage and to do good, both for yourself and others.
Allison: 13:20
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction or mental health issues, we encourage you to reach out to us today. Advanced Recovery Systems is a leading behavioral health care company with locations across this country. Don't hesitate, call us today, at 855-409-1753. That's 855-409-1753 help is just a phone call away. And to build that community, right. And I think that what you've been able to do is to, you know, show people they're not alone. And I think that's you, you do show up to serve and I love your long captions, just so you know. I think they're great. But you show up with this very authentic way of like, this is what I'm going through, don't let you know, like, I love the post about like not letting anyone invalidate your pain or your what you're experiencing, like people need to hear this, right. And people need to know that they're not the only ones that sometimes you know, are experiencing certain things. And when you do show up for good, it is so powerful. And you can create that community and you can create that sense of belonging right and understanding. And so thank you for what you do. And I know, I know the value of some of the people that I also follow online where you just you feel like you show up here like they get me right, like they get me and it feels good. So
Mari Stracke 14:45
it's, it's also I feel like what else are we really here for if not making real connections? It's the most beautiful thing. And I think when you're younger, that might not be on the forefront of your thoughts. And the older they get you get, or at least for me, it's like, oh, well, of course, that's what I'm, I'm kind of here to do the the enjoyment of the dialogue with other people and to share a little bit of their experience and the way they see their world. Yeah, it's very powerful.
Allison: 15:20
And I'll echo to what you said about, you know, I've always been an overshare, too. And I'm sure my drives my mother crazy, because she's like one of those super private people. And I'm like, let me tell you all my issues. So, you know, when I was 18, I was newly in recovery for my eating disorder. And I had struggled throughout high school, like, definitely suffered in silence was not getting the help I needed, finally got, you know, into a healthier place. And somebody in my world said, you know, Allison, you were blessed with a voice to tell your story. And she's like, not everybody's brave enough to do it. She's like, but you are, and you need to do it when you're ready, you know, and I'm, I always say, like, I don't, I wait till it's a scar, not an open wound kind of thing. You know, I think you have to responsibly share too. And but that that one person changed my whole life, it was like, they gave me that permission, slip, quote, unquote, right like that I was almost waiting for to be able to be that voice for the voiceless. And I find there's so many similarities and like how you've shared so openly what you've gone through and what you've, you know, experience with others to that, I think that you're inspiring even more people that you don't even realize, and I think that's such a beautiful gift to give the world and, you know, if those that are listening right now know that they have a story to share that can inspire others, they should really think about doing that. Because you never know who needs to hear it. I think sometimes people think like, oh, well, there's a bunch of people out there doing this. And, you know, they're not you, right? You we all have our unique experiences, and you never know what your confidence and belief in your ability to share will do for somebody else. And
Mari Stracke 17:05
I also think on that note, I often had have to remind myself that I now live in a very nice bubble, of people who are advocating and who I have conversations with and where it's very open and where everybody is proud to be vulnerable. But that is a bubble in in the grander scheme of society that is not there yet at all. So I think any person who can decide if, if it's for them to share their story is contributing just it's a numbers game, right? At the end of the day, we need to get the numbers out of these authentic stories where people just realize, okay, well, this, this is normal, this having an I'm not normalizing the struggle of mental illnesses. But this is normal for the society we live in for the time we live in for the minds, we have a very complex mind. And therefore it is normal to speak about it. And it's interesting, you mentioned that post I did about don't let anybody invalidate your pain. And I remember I posted this after I had spoken to a doctor about getting therapy again for PTSD, because I felt after the pandemic, it was really coming back with a vengeance. And took me by surprise, because what has a pandemic to do with a knife crime like this. But it's obviously this triggering that anxiety just taps into that same pot of fear. And then it brings it out. And he asked me, he asked me and it was a phone consultation. And he asked me, Can you still are you still able to leave the house? And I'm like, yes. But it's not fun. And I have to research. If I go to new area in London, I have to research how to get there. What does I look on Google Maps, what the area looks like, I familiarized myself with that, I would have never done this 10 years ago in London, I would have just hopped on the tube and off I went grade. And so I tried to explain this to him that that's not how I wish to live my life with that amount of fee analysis that were can't be good for my body. And I've noticed like, you know, digestive problems, like little things like eye twitching. My body is affected by the amount of fear that keeps flooding through my body. But for him, it was important that I was still able to leave the house and he said, So what do you do for work? And I said, Well, I write and I do other freelance work, but I've mainly sit there with my laptop and I write and he said, oh, so are you still able to do that? Yes, I am still able to do that. So while you don't qualify for the tailored therapy for PTSD and To the healthcare system that we have here in the UK. And I hung up the phone, and I started crying because I just felt that somebody just told me that my pain wasn't big enough to get the help that I felt I should get. And it makes you it makes you feel shame as well for having asked in the first place, like, shouldn't I have not reached out? And then I thought, if this affects me to that level, and I've talked so openly about this, and this is such a big part of my life, and this sends me into a crying episode. And this makes me question whether my symptoms are valid, or whether I'm making them up, maybe it's not that bad. Maybe this is normal, I don't know. Then what would happen if the same conversation was had by somebody who was reaching out for the very first time in their lives? And they'd spent months thinking about this? And they really got the courage to ask and to say, Hey, I'm struggling, can you help me? And then somebody says, Oh, I used to live in the house. I used to work and well, then you find what's the big deal? And so that that was the reason why I posted that and why I felt like no, this is actually something that people should know that this, this isn't okay, because if you feel it, it's there. Pain is pain is pain is pain. There is no “oh, no, this pain is different than that.” And if you feel it, you have it. You have that pain inside you, and you're suffering from it. And so therefore, you deserve to be heard, and listened to and taken seriously. And to receive, ultimately, help. And that, posting that in the feedback, I got that post, which as you can imagine, was quite, quite big, because so many people were like, Oh, my God, this has happened to me as well. That gave me the strength to call again, to speak to my GP again. And I was then put on the waiting list, which I still am on for the right kind of therapy. So fingers crossed, get something at some point. But had I not had this this interaction online? I don't think I would have called again. So let alone somebody who's reaching out for the first time that.
Allison: 22:21
Yeah, and you know, I'm so sorry that you experienced that with them. Because you're absolutely right. That phone call was a brave phone call. And you have, you know, more experience, and you've been an advocate for this. And you, you know, thankfully had a community that was like no, do so. But we deal with this all the time. Right. And, you know, we've we're obviously in talking on your mind you matter today. And Nobu is a big part of that our mental wellness app. But the other side of Advanced Recovery Systems is inpatient addiction treatment. And we always say every phone call matters, treat it as if it's going to be the only one they make, because it might be. And we've got to instill hope that life can change it because it will as they take care of themselves. But we want to make sure that we're hearing them, they're seeing their value they're heard, and we're going to take care of them, we're going to get them where they need to be. And it's so important that anybody right, regardless of even at a higher standard, right, your doctor needed to definitely handle that differently. But all of us need to take that phone call, whether it's a friend calling for help a family member, whoever it may be as seriously as it is because it is a brave dial to make. I remember when I reached out for the first time and how challenging that was. And I had a similar situation, I went back again. And that took a whole other level of bravery and self belief that I didn't want to keep feeling the way that I felt. So I am so glad that you have this community that number one you share so openly with but that is also been able to help you too. Because, you know, you'll get connected hopefully very soon with great resources and but it's so important that we really stop, listen, and connect. Yeah, help and serve and guide and do all the things so I'm glad we had to have this conversation today. It was really important for people to hear.
Mari Stracke 24:33
And I think also on that note with social media. We often well I come across this a lot that people compare their pain to other stories. So it's like, we say okay, if if you go through a divorce, you have X amount of months that we grant you that you can grieve for that. But then we kind of expect you to, you know, be up and running again. If somebody has died in your family. We understand you struggle for like, let's give it a year. But the society has these weird numbers. And we all know them, like, you know, whether it's a year and a half or whatever, two years, but for different things, it's like, I don't know who decided this, but collectively as a society that keeps things hidden, and you know, keep have, yeah, well don't openly share our problems, I suppose, we almost attach a certain kind of value to what traumatic event has happened to you, which is, I understand to a certain extent, why we categorize things and why also in the metal, medical world, you need to categorize to be able to help more people quicker, I understand that. But on the social level, it then happens that people come to me online, and they tell Googling, you know, do you have some some advice or some breathing exercise? What is it that you do, and I say, Oh, I'm doing this and that. And then they share a little bit about what what has happened to them, or maybe what has not happened to them, because they don't have the traumatic event that triggered it. Because right now, it could just be that you live through a pandemic. And you might have not had family members who were severely ill or anything, but you live through this time. And there is this notion online that I come across a lot, that if you don't have a big event to show for, you're not allowed to claim that you're traumatized, or and again, is becoming a buzzword as well, like, Oh, I'm depressed, I'm traumatized. I'm anxious. And we forget what actually that means. But that's a different subject, I suppose. But this comparison of like, well, my pain isn't as big as yours, because there isn't anything. I can't say, you know, it was just a breakup. Yeah, but maybe it was a particularly bad breakup for you. And you're clearly suffering. So that's fine, is irrelevant. So that's the first thing I say to people. I'm absolutely open to listen, and I'm interested if you want to share it. But it's not for me to measure whether your pain is valid enough to now say, maybe try some therapy, maybe try some tools about breathing exercises, those kinds of things. Because you know that no one else is an expert on how you feel, but you no one else, there's no other authority than you. And it is so irrelevant what caused it. And that's a big one. After the pandemic, now that I come across a lot, the comparing of pain online.
Allison: 27:47
ARS University is the perfect go to resource for anyone looking to learn more about mental health, addiction and other related topics. The on demand library offers a wealth of engaging and informative content that can help you gain a deeper understanding of these complex subjects. With ARS University, you'll have everything you need to empower yourself with knowledge and support. To learn more, go to www dot Ars university.com. Well, I'm glad that you talked about this too, because it can, you know, I think people can look and say, Oh, it's just not as bad as them like, I'm okay. Like, I don't deserve to feel that right, or whatever. And it's like, no, no, no. And I love that you call that out, it's you, you know yourself better than anybody else. Give yourself permission to give the help that you need. Ask for the resources, do what you need to do, and, you know, allow that space and that time to heal. Because if you don't, and you're not feeling like yourself, it's and you don't do what you need to do for you. It's going to show up in other ways, right? We talk about that a lot, right? Like a lot of unresolved issues can manifest themselves into other bigger problems. So do it for you take care of yourself, right. And that's a big part of this. That's why we have these really important conversations on this show. And I am so grateful that we got to spend some time together today. But we love to ask, as one of our final questions to our guests. At this point in your life, what matters most to you right now.
Mari Stracke 29:16
I think it is to live fully. I think that's a big one for me at the moment to try and live fully. And by that I mean, go for the connection. Say yes to things. This is post pandemic for me is a big one. Because I feel that it's so easy after this time being indoors and being very sheltered and all of that, to forget that. In my opinion, life is about the experience. Life is about the dialogue with other people, understanding how other people see the world and understanding that my viewpoint is just one of very many. And we all have this experience on this planet. So living life to the fullest, for me, personally, is something like, as has become a mantra recently, what can I do to really expand, you know, this, this experience, this time on this planet. And one of the tools I found that works to really feel connected and feel like I'm living, not my best life, like the online thing, but my fullest life is through being kind. Like the fast track, I think, to feeling full, in the best possible way have a full heart is through kindness. So that's what I do. At the moment that's on the, you know,
Allison: 30:52
I love that. What a beautiful message we can all use more kindness, right, and, and practice kindness to ourselves to in addition to others, of course, so Well, it has been a true pleasure. And I'm sure that people are going where can I connect with her? So would you mind sharing more information about, of course, your Instagram and anything else that you'd like to share?
Mari Stracke 31:14
I think you can connect with me most? Well, the easiest way is definitely Instagram. That is where I live as a person. So if you if you put my handle, which is just my name, really, in the in the show notes that be great. Because it is a German name. So sometimes it's a bit tricky. If I just say it now it might get muddled. But I'm very, very open in my DMs to talk. Even if I don't reply, immediately, I will reply, if you talk, if you want to talk about anything mental health related, I don't. I am very, very approachable, because I think that's the whole point of what I'm doing. So that would be the number one thing and then I have a website as well. But you'll find all that when you visit me on Instagram. That's where I live.
Allison: 32:05
Perfect. Well, we will link to all of that in the show notes. Thank you again for being on the show today and you continue to do what you're doing. It's amazing. Thanks for having me. It's
Mari Stracke 32:15
been a real pleasure talking to you. Thank you.
Angela: 32:22
Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you're not already subscribed, we hope you join us regularly. And please leave us a five star review wherever you get your podcasts if you enjoyed the show. We hope that this podcast is beneficial to you and your wellness journey. Dear mind you matter is brought to you by Nobu, a new mental health and wellness app. You can download it today using the link in our show notes. We will talk to you next time and until then remember you and your mind matter