In this episode, we talk to Dr. Nikki Starr about choosing your belief system, being mindful of the kinds of conversations you’re having, and energy makeovers.
Subscribe for more: www.nobu.ai/podcast
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nobuapp
Follow us on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NMIEgjblqmhwT6Uy3l0Nm
Subscribe to Dear Mind You Matter Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-mind-you-matter/id1573642046
Leave us a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-mind-you-matter/id1573642046
Interested in attending our Educational Events? https://bit.ly/eventsandeducation
____
Dr. Nikki Starr is a medical doctor turned Transformational Life Coach and Spiritual Healer, and was born into a lineage of Colombian Healers and Shaman. After medical school she had a spiritual awakening traveling the world touching every continent except Antarctica by age 25. She is now based in Malibu where she works with people worldwide via her online coaching and healing programs that empower us to live our ultimate lives. She stands for ultimate health, wealth, embodiment and love for all of humanity.
Instagram: @drnikkistarr
Websites: Awakenyourspiritualpower.com and ultimatewomanuprising.com
Memorable Moments:
4:27 We're in the realm beyond health and into ultimate embodiment, like being your best ultimate self in every aspect.
4:41 A lot of people are like, I know my life can be better, and I want to live my best life. And that's really exciting. And I like to say it's like an energy makeover. It's like a makeover in every aspect of our lives and how we're being and how we see the world.
5:44 We really are making lemonade out of every lemon that life throws our way. And I think that's the beauty of this work is that our life is what we make of it. It is how we choose to see things that happen. And it is how we're choosing to live our life every day with our lifestyle and our habits and how we seek, and how we see our relationships and really allowing everything to work for us.
7:35 Imagine that we're computers and we have software systems, and we can just delete the programs that are not serving us anymore. And we outgrow programs.
9:00 We live in an energetic universe. If we clear the energy charge, then we have a different experience moving forward.
11:20 If we are choosing the belief system that everything is happening for our greatest becoming, then we can trust that every single thing that happens is for our greatest becoming and find the silver lining.
12:33 I feel that when we want to manifest something, the universe is conspiring to make it happen for us.
13:52 Really [choose] how we’re focusing energy, because what we focus on expands.
15:02 I believe that we are co-creating a new paradigm. So we are in a time period on the earth where a lot of change needs to happen, especially if we want to create. So I believe that we can create a reality where there's abundance and love and peace and harmony for everyone. In order for that to happen, the systems that are not in alignment with that need to break down...So I look at a lot of these disasters, whether they're social disasters or even actual natural disasters, as opportunities for rebuilding.
18:51 So energy is contagious. And it changes form and it can transmute other energy, right? So it's like it pick up the energy of the sun, it can start to heat other things up. So if you could be that kindness, that when you go to the store or you're in your relationships, and you'd be that love and kindness, that is the opposite of the thing you're seeing that you want to complain about. It's like, you be the solution. How can you take whatever's happening and be the solution and literally take an action that is in alignment with the opposite of the thing that's bothering you?
19:31 Be mindful of the conversations you have. I like to tell my clients reserve time to talk about what is going wrong, and putting in quotation marks “what's wrong”, and what's going wrong or what's not going right. Reserve that for healing time. Not really just to vent because you're putting, it's like you're spewing that out into the universe and the universe is like, “Oh, they want more of that. Look. They love talking about it. Let's just give them more of that challenge.” And so really being mindful and finding the things or the conversations to be had that are serving you...So the best thing you could do is take an inspired action, that is some sort of self care or some sort of energy that is the opposite of the thing that you're wanting to complain about or be in victimhood about.
22:29 I feel for me, it's so important to keep in my environment, be it people, places, things, where I live, how I live, that everything is in alignment with my truth and what feels really good for me and really putting myself first because I feel like that's how I can then share my mission with the world in a bigger way and show up for my relationships in a better way.
23:01 I do think it's so important, like, saying no to the things that are a no. Saying yes to the things that are yes, and heeding that.
Dear Mind, You Matter is brought to you by NOBU, a new mental health, and wellness app. To download NOBU, visit the app store or Google Play.
This podcast is hosted by Allison Walsh and Dr. Angela Phillips. It is produced by Allison Walsh, Ashley Tate, and Nicole LaNeve. For more information or if you’re interested in being a guest on this podcast, please visit www.therecoveryvillage.com/dearmindyoumatter.
Allison: Hello and welcome to the dear mind, do you matter podcast. My name is Allison Walsh. I'm a longtime mental health advocate and vice president at Advanced Recovery Systems. On each episode, I will be joined by my colleague and clinical expert, Dr. Angela Phillips. This show along with our mental health and wellness app, Nobu are just some of the ways we're working to provide you with actionable tips and tools to take really good care of yourself each and every day. So sit back, relax and grab your favorite note-taking device, it's time to fill your mind with things that matter. Dr. Nikki Starr is a medical director turned transformational life coach and spiritual healer and was born into a lineage of Colombian healers and Shaman. After medical school, she had a spiritual awakening traveling the world touching every continent except Antarctica by age 25. She is now based in Malibu where she works with people worldwide via her online coaching and healing programs that empower us to live our ultimate lives. She stands for Ultimate Health, wealth, embodiment, and love for all of humanity. Please welcome Dr. Nikki star. I am so excited that you are here with us today. Would you mind introducing yourself to the audience?
Dr. Nikki Star: Yes, thank you for having me, ladies, I'm Dr. Nikki star, I'm a medical doctor turn transformational life coach, I'm now based in Malibu. And my work is very practical and mystical. So we do a lot of deep healing work. And we allow for practical results in our lives as well. And I'm all about ultimate living.
Angela: I love it. And because none of you can see we're just staring gazing into Dr. Stars, beach in Malibu in her background, and it's very calming. So I just want to send that through the podcast waves. Thank you so much, again for joining us. And I'm so excited to talk to you more about really what took you in the direction that you went, I know you've obviously gone through a lot of transitions to get to where you are now. But you know, going from being a medical director and turning into this person that really helps others transform what took you in that direction and give us a little bit more context there.
Dr. Nikki Star: So being a medical doctor, I feel that for most of us, we're drawn to healing and helping people. So I feel that I went that path. And when I got there, I was like, wait a minute, this doesn't feel like I imagined it would. I imagined that people would leave the office feeling transformed, like they do now with coaching and healing work. But I didn't know that until I was actually in it. So I feel when I grew up in New York City, I didn't know anything about alternative healing or energy work or any of that. So becoming a medical doctor was just because that's where I was. And that's where my skills were best served. And then I went on a spiritual journey where I traveled around the whole world and I had a spiritual awakening. And then it started happening organically. First, I was focused more on yoga then the coaching, then the energy, healing work. And now it's kind of like a blend and a hybrid of everything. I don't really do yoga as much only on retreats and such. But the energy work, the intuitive coaching, all of that provides incredible results that I feel I couldn't do with Western medicine, Western medicine is really limited to like a prescription. And this is I can literally cover every aspect of someone's life from what they eat to their childhood, to their mindset to how they're being in their body, which I call embodiment. So it's it's really been a fascinating journey.
Allison: And it's so cool, too, because I think you touched on a lot of it. It's not Western medicine. It's a very preventative in nature, too, I think. So oftentimes, people end up in the doctor's office because something's wrong, not because they're being proactive on how to make more things, right. So can you talk to the audience a little bit more about how you do this? Like, what is it like when you work with somebody? I mean, I'm sure sometimes people come to you when they're not at their best, right, obviously wanting to make some change. But there's probably a lot of people that are trying to optimize their life to not necessarily waiting for something to go wrong.
Dr. Nikki Star: Yeah, and what I call it is beyond health, like we're in the realm beyond health and into ultimate embodiment, like being your best ultimate self in every aspect. So it is about the people who want more, and I find that yes, some people do come when things are challenging, but a lot of people are like, I know my life can be better, and I want to live my best life. And that's really exciting. And I like to say it's like an energy makeover. It's like a makeover in every aspect of our lives and how we're being and how we see the world and I even call [it] like a re education. We're literally reframing our perspectives on what what does life mean? What does? Like what is anything like? How are we choosing to see every moment and I'm really big on seeing the silver lining of things. So trusting that every single thing that's happening in our life is leading to our greatest becoming. So even if it's a breakup, even if it's a job loss, that how it's actually benefiting us and it's for us, and those have been the most powerful catalytic moments for clients is when something that seems like, oh, no, this maybe isn't ideal. And it's the biggest gift that ever happened. And so I like to say, we really are making lemonade out of every lemon that life throws our way. And I think that's the beauty of this work is that our life is what we make of it, it is how we choose to see things that happen. And it is how we're choosing to live our life every day with our lifestyle and our habits and how we seek, and how we see our relationships and really allowing everything to work for us.
Angela: That makes me think, too, do you find that a lot of the work that you do or when you talk to others, and kind of relaying this really just sort of overall approach. It's sort of like a shift in thinking that really obviously goes back to, you know, how we were raised, how people around us viewed how we approach right, our lifestyle. And this reminds me to have we actually were doing a webinar the other day. And using the sort of behavioral health continuum, and how a huge chunk of that that's overlooked, and we leave out right as the promotion aspect. But when we drill that down to the individual level, we don't realize that from day one, we're promoting it in some way, right? We're promoting our mental health and wellness in some way, whether it's what we see other people do, how that resonates with us how we live our lives, how we, you know, rub off on to others and sort of promote that in the same sort of wellness category. But what do you find? More specifically, you know, again, when folks come to you, and they're really struggling with us, or they really do want that reframing? Where do you find that a lot of that focus is going at that deeper core level, if that makes sense?
Dr. Nikki Star: Yeah, so a few things are coming to mind. One being that what you talk about, I like to say is our programming, right? Like imagine that we're computers, and we have software systems, and we can just delete the programs that are not serving us anymore, and we outgrow programs. So our childhood upbringing is where we look at anytime there was a trauma and trauma could even be like where your feelings were hurt. Or where you shrank in some way like you dim your light. Because someone said something to you because a situation happens like a breakup or even like there was bullying in school, and you go back to the earliest memories of anything. And that's where I call it timeline healing. I like to go to those moments and do healing work with people so they can reframe it in that energy of being that age. And then we reintegrate it into present time. So this is just something that I've developed over time, like working with people and then understand that what I like to say is, that's the root incident. And even if there were like 20 events that have the similar flavor from that first start, let's say if it was bullying, and people were mean, right, and then you go back to okay, I remember in kindergarten was the first time and I was teased by these kids, and we go back, we do the healing there, it ends up unraveling every other moment. And it takes the charge out of every other moment where someone felt bullied, and then moving forward, that energy, that frequency, that vibration, because everything is responding to each other energetically. That's we live in an energetic universe. If we clear the energy charge, then we have a different experience moving forward. So that's an like a kind of like a snapshot of one way that I do healing work with people in relation to what you were talking about.
Allison: If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction or mental health issues, we encourage you to reach out to us today. Advanced Recovery Systems is a leading behavioral health care company with locations across this country. Don't hesitate, call us today at 855-409-1753. That's 855-409-1753. Help is just a phone call away.
I love this visual element of this too, because I can just think of it. I mean, as soon as you said certain things, I was like wow, you know my perspective on those situations from when I was younger, if I could go back and heal some of that, like, it makes so much sense that it would actually make a difference and everything that has happened since then are those similar situations, but then also how I approached them in the future, too. So I love this. And I love that energetic charge phrase that you used as well. I agree, I think there's a lot of energetic charges that probably need to get reset, or deleted for the past. So we'll just go with that. But anyways, I want to switch over because you talk about that your Word of the Year is trust, which is so hard for so many people, right? It's like a true struggle. So you know, even just the world that we live in right now, we can barely trust that the next day is going to bring what we thought that it would and it's very difficult. So how do you help others understand and develop trust in a world where there's so much doubt whether that's personally or just with the world itself? There's limiting beliefs, there's challenging behaviors. So how do we even get started with the big trust word?
Dr. Nikki Star: Yeah, it's a beautiful question. This month, I actually shared an online workshop, I do a monthly online workshop called ascension codes. And this month's theme was trust. So I literally just taught a whole workshop on that. And I feel like, at least one piece to take away from that is tying it back to what I said in the beginning, is we're choosing to reframe how we see life, right? That's a big part of coaching and mindset work. So if we are choosing the belief system that everything is happening for our greatest becoming, then we can trust that every single thing that happens is for our greatest becoming and find the silver lining, right? So for example, if, as I mentioned earlier, it's like, how can you take what's happening? Even if it seems like it's the worst thing? And say, Okay, this is actually for my benefit. Why is this a good thing? You can literally list out in a journal, like, why is this a good thing? Like why like, Okay, your partner broke up with you, why is this a good thing, and you literally list out all the reasons why. And maybe that's not your perfect match, and it needs to be broken up with that person. So then you can be available for when you go to an event in a month, and you've done your healing work. And then you meet someone new, and you're like, Oh, my God, thank God, we broke up, you know, because so many times like, in the moment, we're like, oh, no, this isn't great. Like, I'm so sad, this is happening. And then how many times did you look back and be like, Oh, my God, that was the best thing that ever happened, like, Thank God that happened. And this, we look at life as like, I feel that when we want to manifest something, the universe is conspiring to make it happen for us. So these are all just, you have, you're choosing to shift your mindset and believe these things. So if I believe, okay, the universe is conspiring to give me every single thing that I desire. And if if that's the case, like, trust is something we choose, it's innate, it's like, it's something that we're just deciding. And if you're choosing okay, how can I see this silver lining? How can I make lemonade from this? Just that practice alone of just listing out? Like, why is this a good thing, even if it's like, oh, now I have more time for myself, I can do self care. This, I feel has been really powerful for a lot of people that I work with, because so often we want to complain, like, oh, this thing happened. And then we actually grow that energy of like, What a horrible thing that is, versus if we're like, oh, wait, how is this a good thing? And then you talk about it from that perspective. So part of trust to I feel is, it is a masterful discipline, in choosing not to talk about the narrative that this is the worst, I am a victim. This is happening to me. And really choosing how we’re focusing energy, because what we focus on expands.
Angela: I really liked that example. I think a lot of people experience that, right, just in all so many relationships, but specifically in romantic relationships, and just other issues that might come up and are personally, but I'm also wondering, you know, we've worked with so many people, and just so many, including ourselves of us, just everyone around us struggling so much with, you know, global issues that are going on things that are so far outside, you know, far outside of our control, it just feels really helpless to so many people. And so when it comes to issues like that, where we're really struggling to create trust, or really kind of surrender to whatever that feeling may be right that there is another meaning to, you know, to something that's occurring on such a drastic and, you know, really just devastating level. How do you sort of coach and talk folks through that, like, what does that approach look like that might be a little bit different or a different way to reframe that for people?
Dr. Nikki Star: Yes. So so in a similar way, I believe that we are co-creating a new paradigm. So we are in a time period on the earth where a lot of change needs to happen, especially if we want to create. So I believe that we can create a reality where there's abundance and love and peace and harmony for everyone. In order for that to happen, the systems that are not in alignment with that need to break down. So when we have these disasters that happen I look at that is like the chaos think about like a storm, right? Like, when the storm comes, it like affects the whole area, things get destroyed, there's a hurricane, but then there's the time or there's the building of the new. So I look at a lot of these disasters, whether they're social disasters or even actual natural disasters, as opportunities for rebuilding. Like they're it's like the, the storm before the calm, right, because there is the calm before the storm, but then there's the calm after the storm. So like those moments are the storm where everything gets to like, it gets all like scrambled up and rearranged. And things get broken, so that the new things can get rebuilt. So even if we look at, you know, I don't know what things we want to plug in here. But just some of the things that are happening in the world, I really feel like those systems are not functioning properly. So they're being brought to the surface so that they can get rearranged in a way that can and sometimes there is some duality, conflict, chaos that needs to happen, so that it can rearrange for our highest and best good.
Allison: ARS University is the perfect go to resource for anyone looking to learn more about mental health, addiction and other related topics. The on demand library offers a wealth of engaging and informative content that can help you gain a deeper understanding of these complex subjects. With ARS University, you'll have everything you need to empower yourself with knowledge and support. To learn more, go to www dot Ars university.com.
And I love the quote of not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path very similar to what you were talking about. And, you know, sometimes that is the perspective that we bring into it as well. Because the narrative and I know that came up briefly, that we can create in our heads about what's happening can really create that victim mentality too. And, and yes, it's okay to grieve and mourn and be sad if there's something that's happened, but it's also about, okay, we can't undo it. It's how we handle things moving forward, and how we look for the opportunities, the new beginnings, the ability to create manifest everything that we want for ourselves. But that shift is so hard and you know, it takes work, or you have to be super intentional about it. So do you have any tips for anybody that's listening right now? Like if they're tired of having like the I call it stinking thinking, right, where you kind of just keep going back into an old narrative. Do you have any tips just for people that are listening right now to maybe like, shift or disrupt their their process so they can start something new?
Dr. Nikki Star: Yeah. And it kind of ties in it's it was the next thing I was feeling bubbling up in or as we're talking about this of, okay, so let's say you have you're witnessing and identifying something that you do not like, but let's say you're seeing war in some form, or like bullying or something that feels like, No, this is not right for you by grading tailback, how can you then go and be the opposite in your life. So it's like you are putting out that energy signal onto the planet. So energy is contagious. And it changes form and it can transmute other energy, right? So it's like it pick up the energy of the sun, it can start to heat other things up. So if you could be that kindness, that when you go to the store or you're in your relationships, and you'd be that love and kindness, that is the opposite of the thing you're seeing that you want to complain about. It's like, you be the solution. How can you take whatever's happening and be the solution and literally take an action that is in alignment with the opposite of the thing that's bothering you? So right there, then you're distracting your mind because you're consciously choosing an action. The other thing I would say is be mindful of the conversations you have. I like to tell my clients reserve time to talk about what is going wrong, and putting in quotation marks “what's wrong” and what's going wrong or what's not going right. Reserve that for healing time. Not really just to vent because you're putting, it's like you're spewing that out into the universe and the universe is like, “Oh, they want more of that. Look. They love talking about it. Let's just give them more of that challenge.” And so really being mindful and finding the things or the conversations to be had that are serving you. Like, go to a yoga class, do a meditation. It's where your self care comes in. So the best thing you could do is take an inspired action, that is some sort of self care or some sort of energy, that is the opposite of the thing that you're wanting to complain about, or be in victimhood about. And that's a way to distract your mind from wanting to go into that spiral.
Angela: I really liked that example of we use that a lot to and in like DBT, and focusing on just making the choice, to not think about it, but just flipping the script and choosing to do the opposite, whether it's targeting that through an emotion, right. So if I'm feeling really strongly this way, and I'm really uncomfortable, and I don't want to feel that way, right, I can choose to sort of emulate the opposite feeling or, like you're saying, kind of behaviorally, we're taking that step. And so that can be so extremely beneficial, especially when we're even kind of beyond that rationalization piece. Right? And just really, kind of don't need to really be thinking about it any more. It's more of like you said, just taking that action, taking that step. And I love what did you say sort of about, you know, kind of reserving other judgments for later putting that you know, on a on a to do list for later and, and even sometimes limiting our time that we spend, right, intentionally thinking about those things that that seemed to be really driving frustration or exhaustion, confusion for us, and focusing on that. So thank you so much for sharing that. And I know we don't have too much time left with you. But one of the things that we like to ask all of our guests is with where you're at right now, what really matters most to you of everything.
Dr. Nikki Star: I think what matters most to me right now is, is literally practicing what I preach, I'm like living my ultimate life for me. And I feel like with my mission, and my purpose, and my relationships, like making sure that everything feels really good and is in alignment for me, and I call this energy hygiene. And like, if there's anything that feels like it's not in alignment, I feel for me, it's so important to like, keep in my environment, be it people places, things like where I live, how I live, that everything is in alignment with my truth and what feels really good for me and really like putting myself first because I feel like that's how I can then share my mission with the world in a bigger way and show up for my relationships in a better way. So really, I call this pristine alignment. And this is going to be another ascension code. Because I do think it's so important, like, saying no to the things that are a no. Saying yes to the things that are yes, and heeding that.
Allison: So powerful, so many good nuggets, and I love it. And I hope that everybody is listening and taking notes. And going back and listening to this advice again, because it can be really, really, really hard, especially for the recovering people pleasers out there that want to say yes all the time, and it's not in alignment, and it leads you down this other path right and you know, that can be really really unfortunate right with how you ended up spending your time and your energy because it's not in alignment with your truth and it's not where you want to go and I love what you said about really being mindful of the energy that you allow into your life too. And I had picked up this stat about emotions and the the narrative right so it takes three positive emotions to outweigh every one negative that we allow in so every time you're about to like engage in something negative think about you're gonna have to work three times as hard to get yourself back to a balanced state right so, so many good things in this episode and Dr. Nikki star, we are so excited that you are on the show with us today. I am sure there's a lot of people that want to follow you and get involved with your webinars and workshops and learn from you. So where should they find you?
Dr. Nikki Star: My Instagram, Dr. Nikki star d r and IK K I S T A R R and then my website is Dr. Nikki star.com. So both have all the information is where I share the most updates. So thank you ladies so much.
Angela: Thank you so much and everyone follow her she has amazing content. It's great every day I'm checking it so you will benefit from it for sure. Thank you so much, Nikki, take care.
Dr. Nikki Star: Thank you.
Angela: Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you're not already subscribed, we hope you Join us regularly and please leave us a five star review wherever you get your podcasts. We hope that this podcast is beneficial to you and your wellness journey. Dear mind you matter is brought to you by Nobu, a new mental health and wellness app. You can download it today using the link in our show notes will talk to you next time and until then, remember, you and your mind matter.